Iceland Finalists

Iceland's finalists this year are a questionable lot, and have me wondering if all that cold and snow has done something to their brains. The best song of the lot is the one the public never chose. You're not even going to give Yohanna another shot? Fools! 

So, these are the finalists

1: Birgitta Haukdal, Medal Andanna'

Generic eurovision contemporary ballad. Written by Jonas Gladnikoff. Probably would have appeared in someone else's national final if it hadn't been here. Will clearly wind up in English if it won. Yawn.

2: Svavar Knútur Kristinsson & Hreindís Ylva Garðarsdóttir Hólm, 'Lífið Snýst'

What's with all the drums this year? This could have a twee-fight with Switzerland's Not-Heilsarmee. Seriously, they'd throw flowers, joy and peace and we'd all vomit. It would be biological warfare. No, people, no!

3: Eyþór Ingi Gunnlaugsson, "Ég á Líf"

We're sure this is a 2013 entry right? Because you could easily stick this in 1995's Eurovision. Nothing would need changing. Not even the hair. How did this qualify? Even Ireland would reject this. 

4:   Jógvan Hansen & Stefanía Svavarsdóttir "Til þín"

The uninteresting version of Greta and Jonsi. 

5: Unnur Eggertsdóttir, "Ég Syng!"

Another that feels like it might have been in Ireland's national final once. Distracted by all the peachy orange colours. I feel like I'm too old to like this one. 

6: Haraldur Reynisson, "Vinátta"

Is this guy huge in Iceland (as huge as you can be in Iceland)? I can't work out why this guy gets into the finals. I mean, it's ok, but it's not exactly setting anyone's world alight. Who voted for this? Does Haraldur own the phone lines? Does he have a really big family? Why?

7: Magni Ásgeirsson "Ekki Líta Undan"

Iceland, you fools, how could you not pick Magni the first time! What is wrong with you? How could you pick Haraldur? Magni and his facial hair are flawless, send him to Eurovision. Seriously, it has improved:

Before: Dodgy soul patch

Now: More beardy. 

Denmark: Emmelie De Forest, Only Teardrops

Firstly, her name sounds like gateaux. Now I want some gateaux.

Secondly, I don't want Denmark to win. Copenhagen and Malmo are too close together, so close that I'll be staying in the former for Eurovision. I want somewhere else to win.

So, while I like this song, and think it does manage to get the right balance on being twee and celtic, and doesn't have superfluous dancers, I'm prejudiced against Denmark. They're always one of those sure things for the final. It's so boring.

(All these Celtic influences in other people's finals. Will anything rub off on Ireland this year? Or will they just grab some swedish songwriter again, to sing #Generic pop song 44? Sigh)