Eurovision nations 2013

I'm not really interested in the world. I only care about Eurovision. If you're not in Eurovision, you don't exist.

So, here's your 2013 Eurovision map.

[EDIT: It's easier to read the map if you open it in a new window/tab]

Oh Portugal, whyyyyyyyyyyyy! Why have you left! I will miss you, and i was rooting for you to win! Don't give up now! It's only been 46 times!

Switzerland's finalists

Switzerland's nationals kicked off back in September but I have no time, and am not quite hardcore enough, to care about all bazillion of Switzerland's future probable non-qualifier of an entry. Except for Lys Assia's loltastic choice. But alas, or praise be, she didn't get through to the final. So, what do we have then? 

1: Anthony Bighead, Do The Monkey

Ooooooooooook. Lets just skip past this certain non-qualifier. 

2: Heilsarmee, You and Me

Probably better to listen to than watch. I think this one would grow on me, it's memorable if a touch repetitive, but I'm unsure about the look of them. They would go they way of Joan Franka, I suspect -- decent song but looks like a joke. 

3: Jessie Ritch, Forever and A Day

Typical Talent Show Runner Up song that's totally boring but shows off the vocals they've been demonstrating for weeks in a show that pretends that singing ability is all there is to it. Bored, bored bored. Boring. Bored. Everyone's going to vote for this aren't they? 

4: Melissa, The Point of No Return

Starts a bit Pet Shop Boys, but then gets a bit generic, then gets a bit boring. Not sure I like the Safura styling. Vagina teasing dresses in beige are foul. But the song could be good, or it could go the way of Je t'adore. Possibly.... 

5: Carrousel, J'avais Rendesvous

La Francaise. Oui, le language! (Yeah, my french is terrible, but this song is not, and suspiciously like France 2007's Rendevous, which I liked. Assuming Sweden don't screw everyone over when the draw is done, it could work. 

6: Nicholas Fraissinet, Leve Toi

Reminds me of Keane. NEVER A RECOMMENDATION!

7: Nill Klemm, title too boring to listen to. 

The way this video starts, I was expecting something more hardcore. Nope, it's a boring guy with a guitar, and dancers who are surely listening to a different song. 

8: Ally, Catch Me

Doesn't inspire much feeling in me. Maybe because it's a bit jazzy, and I just can't stand that. 

9: Chiara Dubey, Bella Sera

Ballad. Unembarassing, but equally unremarkable.

So, I'd go for, Heilsarmee, Melissa, or Carrousel. I'm not convinced any of these could be winners, but these three could manage to stay in the respectable part of the eurovision's musical spectrum.