Anouk, Birds

Holy crap, Netherlands, where did you get this from? After the disaster that brought up Sieneke, did anyone expect anything remarkable from this country again? I mean, I thought Joan Franka was cute, but that song was a hard sell.

This year, they decided to skip past voting, and just picked internally. And honestly, this year has been quite a mess for national finals, Sweden has international juries (why?) overruling their public vote, Belarus doesn't understand the point at all, Bulgaria clearly doesn't trust it's public, and there's plagiarism accusations flying everywhere, along with superfluous dancers and Loreen, who, like all winners, is at far too many of these things and becoming quite irritating with her pretentious dancing.

I cannot say enough nice things about this song. It's a classy and grown-up ballad that doesn't have some stupid cliche of shining love light bright eyed hearts because of youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu at the centre. Look at those lyrics:

Isolated from the outside

Clouds have taken all the light

I have no control, it seems my

Thoughts wander all

Of the time, when I tried to

Live life without you

Birds falling down the rooftops

Out of the sky like raindrops

No air, no pride

If being myself is what I do wrong

Then I would rather not be right

Hopes turned into fear and with my

One wing I can't fly

With sunrise, embrace my

Dreams tight and that's why

Birds falling down the rooftops

Out of the sky like raindrops

No air, no pride

Birds

To a place without fear, with no moonlight

(To a place without moonlight and fear)

All I need are trees and flowers and some sunlight

(All I need is trees, some flowers and sunlight)

Where memories are being made and where the old one dies

Where love ain't lies

Birds falling down the rooftops

Out of the sky like raindrops

Birds falling down the rooftops

Out of the sky like raindrops

No air, no pride

That's why birds don't fly It's freaking poetry people. Last year we had the fake 'arty' winner. Now let's have the proper one. Amsterdam 2014! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Why Army of Lovers couldn't get into Eurovision

Even though they totally should be, and everything about them is campy eurotrash, Army Of Lovers would never have shined at Eurovision. Their Melodifestivalen performance emphasised that.

Firstly, these three can't sing live, especially La Camilla who can't even pretend to mime properly, so they would have been so screwed anyway. But it would have been gloriously screwed and host countries shouldn't be making too much effort.  

But also, their biggest hits were 'Crucified' and 'Israelism'. They were trading on 90s disco mashes of heaving breasts and religiosity. 'Crucified' might just pass, but 'Israelism' would never have made it into Eurovision, not even if, or especially if, it were Israel's entry. And sure, Jean-Pierre can wear nothing but a pair of knickers and nipple shields and dry-hump the dancers, but La Camilla can't. Can't have too much sex at the Eurovision, might terrify the young vote, or the old vote, whichever is more sensitive. 

Their song and performance seemed like the effort of a band who'd been asked not to do all the things people like them for, and made them noteworthy in the first place, leaving them with a bland repetitive pop chorus, and disjointed verses from La Camilla and Jean Pierre. Sean Banan's Copacabanana already got this year's comedy spot, but it's a bland, unfilling bit of crap (much like bananas - I don't like banana's.) Army of Lovers though, have a bit more depth to them, and mainstream pop doesn't suit them A sparkly vagina cross couldn't suffice. We wanted so much more, and didn't, or couldn't get it. 

On a positive note,  Jean-Pierre and La Camilla are the only people who ever looked better for dressing like they were still 20 somethings, and Army of Lovers could still be something. In a place that doesn't have rules about brand names, religion, and is totally fine with same-sex kissing. 

Now they're out, there's nothing worth noting about Sweden this year, it's just a push to make Ulrik Munther a star, which urgh, pass me the sick bag. 

Obligatory faves post

So, as a eurovision blogger i must name my choice of favourite. That is the routine for the next two months.

My favourite song, that I would listen to outside of eurovision, that i would dance to at clubs with a bottle of wine in me (and more, likely)?

Israel, Izabo, Time
Indie pop goodness!

The ponies know the truth, even if they're pointing to their right