Lys Assia's back, and she's brought her gang.

http://www.eurovisionplattform.sf.tv/videos/all_in_your_head

Oh, God, Switzerland, I Love You! Not only do you have your national final in this very quiet season, providing much needed nourishment for our eurovision appetitie, but you've already given us what will surely be a contender for the prize of 'contestant we feel secondhand embarassment for.'

I genuinely don't think I've ever seen anything so jarring. I actually think there might be two seperate songs here that could work, but together is some weird, highly awkward mess, with some very bad connotations.  Something that makes more sense with pictures (Unfortunately, I don't know how to screencap this without the pause button in the middle. so just go with this.)

So. the bland pop beats begin, and in comes New Jack.

Note the look of not so much excitement as SHEER TERROR!

Here comes Lys Assia. Note the look of not so much excitement as SHEER TERROR!

Lys Assia is down with the kids. She knows the Lingo!

Glasses Jack prays to Lys Assia. Because anyone glowing that much must be Jesus? Right? Lys Assia's expression? Anyone's guess!

The Jack's ponder Lys Assia's expression

"Can we get Ice cream Lys! Can we, CAN WE! PLEASE!"

Seriously, should anyone other than Jesus or angels glow like that?

Lys Assia trying to be... erm... I got nothing here.

Those Shades are probably prescription. She's probably blinded by her own glowiness.

Oh, god, the dancing here! The dancing!

Is she radioactive?

Lys Assia with her crew/gang/posse. GANGSTAS!

Woah, Lys is gonna show us some MOVES!

Or maybe not?

Her facial expression here tells us that she's just realised what's going on?

I just realised, I think there might be a 'message' in this song. :|










'

Not long to go...

till Montenegro trolls and the show begins.

Of all the songs to get drawn first! LOL. Montenegro don't have much luck with these things do they?

Samis will ruin your Eurovision entries

Am I the only one who likes this song... until the Sami appears.

One month to Eurovision!

It's one more month till the Eurovision victor will be known. I'm hoping it won't be Sweden, because honestly, it's a bit boring to think at this point that we already know.

All this month, I'm going to post random lyrics from the contest. These are all taken from the glorious lyrics site Diggiloo Thrush. I'll start with this gem from the 1980s. You can come guess in comments if you like. There's no prize, it's all just fun and you probably all just googled the answer anyway

Your mother's braids, come on, tell me who

Tell me who braids them, tell me who

Tell me who braids them

Hint: definitely not a winner!

The Late Late Show Eurosong

So... I watched on saturday evening and will on Sunday retro-blog this parody of a final

Oh it's Jedward. Why did you bother? It was Jedward? Jedward, Jedward JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDWAAAAARD


Cocks!

I was in Scotland over the weekend. I saw handsome men in kilts in the street, standing around, just looking handsome in kilts. Standing around with the soft tweedy ends of their kilts blowing delicately in the wind, like a gust could make a girl's day. Alas, there was nothing, and this celtic fringe lady had to walk on, with no scotch buttocks to amuse her day.
 I just wanted to lift one up and take a peek underneath. Le Sigh, I could not.

 Anyway my trip in Scotland involvled pandas, posey penguins and panic attack, more le sigh. tweet for pics of cute panda and posey penguins.... i didn't get any hamdsome men in skirts though....

mmm... handsome men in skirts....


...handsome men in skirts.....

.....

...
AAARGH. there's a place called JEDBURGH! NOOOOO!!!


Wait Jedburgh? Not Jedward..... Aaargh

..

yeah sorry i'm back... and I think i may have to dissect this final in bits... So stay tuned for I on Sunday I will discuss in depth more Irish national eurovision talk and elaborate on: Celtic Mysticism, B*wtiched, Lady Gaga, U2, languages of love,  and positive things about Jedward. (I really want an Irish win, so I need positive thinking!)