Eurovision competitors so far

Well, I've taken so long to getting around to the current crop of confirmed eurovision entries because, well, they're all kinda unremarkable. I just don't have much to say about it. 

Let's round it up

Switzerland: 'You and Me' - whatever Heilsarmee are now called.

Since I always thought the dorkiest and cringiest part of this song was the Salvation Army aspect, the fact that the EBU have prevented that makes this song a bit better. I mean, it's still twee and kinda preachy, but it's not a man dressed as a monkey or an 88 year old's attempt to be cool. Plus, with Bosnia and Turkey, both generally certain qualifiers, out of the picture, it's possible this song might pick up some votes in a good spot. How do the Swiss get on with Sweden? 

Belgium: 'Love Kills', Roberto Bellarosa.

This guy really can't sing. Which is a shame, there seems like an ok song underneath his flat scratchy voice. An OK song, though, probably not a qualifier. Oh, Belgium. 

Albania: 'Identitet', Adrian Lulgjuraj & Bledar Sejko

I've nothing to say about this song. I've forgotten this song literally while writing this comment. All I will ever now think of with Albania is this: 

Albania, bless you, for making this map of Albania, Kosovo and Montenegro, and giving me the biggest laugh ever. Bless whoever in the graphic studio decided to not included the serbian, macedonian and greek borders around them. And bless my computer's 'prt sc' button. 

Lithuania: 'Something' - Andrius Pojavis

For consistency he should avoid the usual anglicising of his name for the international audience, and just rename himself 'Someone.' The song is actually not too bad, indie pop not dissimiliar to The Killers, but it has one of the worst recent cliches of Eurovision entries: the SUPERFLUOUS DANCERS. What the fuck are they doing back there? Why is she doing weight training exercises? Wouldn't just some guitarists and drummers be better? He's got a quirky enough look by himself, let's not overdo it. 

Ukraine: 'Gravity'  - Zlata Ognevich

Since Ukraine's one of those irritating guaranteed qualifiers, does anyone care. This songs a bit pointless and forgettable for them, full of insufferable cliches and some questionable english, but they're qualifiers for sure, so, whatever, I don't care. Bring back the hamster wheels and centurions. 

The Ukraine will definitely qualify. Albania and Belgium are forgettable. Lithuania may qualify, though I think it should lose the quirkiness and just go as an indie song, and Switzerland, well, I'm not so sure. This could well get into the final. I mean, it's not a winner, and it'll probably come last, but it might well scrape into the final. I mean, it's not like San Marino are gonna threaten their chances.... unless....

*sees a faint sign on the horizon of an old lady with a skateboard*

.... Uh oh...

Baltic Eurovision Contest

I got soooooo confused last night watching Lithuania and Estonia's national finals. Several times on Twitter I definitely tagged the wrong country. But, honestly, their fare has been slipping a bit lately and if Latvia had been the same night too, I'd have totally not remembered which was which. (except that Latvia is abominable.)

So, Lithuania. Love is Blind by Donny Montell. Love would have to be blind with his eyebrows!

:(

The song? It starts as a typical ballad. He's onstage blindfolded. Get it, cos LOVE IS BLIND! SO HE'S BLIND(folded). Did you get it? Did you get it? It's so subtle. 

Or maybe my comments about his eyebrows really did hurt his feelings? 

No, I guess not, because 1 and a half minutes in it goes all disco-dance. AND THE BLINDDFOLD IS BUCKSFIZZED! (yeah, it's a verb now!) Er... You know the song has to end at three minutes? At this point, it seems like two half-songs jammed together. And neither make much of an impression.

BUT HIS EYEBROWS DO!

Onto Estonia then. Ott Lepland with Kuula.

Not much to say here. It's a piano ballad, like hundreds we've heard before. But it is in Estonian, so I'm 12-pointing this one (yeah, that's also a verb now!) If it gets changed into English before the contest, it can fuck right off.