Eurovision competitors so far

Well, I've taken so long to getting around to the current crop of confirmed eurovision entries because, well, they're all kinda unremarkable. I just don't have much to say about it. 

Let's round it up

Switzerland: 'You and Me' - whatever Heilsarmee are now called.

Since I always thought the dorkiest and cringiest part of this song was the Salvation Army aspect, the fact that the EBU have prevented that makes this song a bit better. I mean, it's still twee and kinda preachy, but it's not a man dressed as a monkey or an 88 year old's attempt to be cool. Plus, with Bosnia and Turkey, both generally certain qualifiers, out of the picture, it's possible this song might pick up some votes in a good spot. How do the Swiss get on with Sweden? 

Belgium: 'Love Kills', Roberto Bellarosa.

This guy really can't sing. Which is a shame, there seems like an ok song underneath his flat scratchy voice. An OK song, though, probably not a qualifier. Oh, Belgium. 

Albania: 'Identitet', Adrian Lulgjuraj & Bledar Sejko

I've nothing to say about this song. I've forgotten this song literally while writing this comment. All I will ever now think of with Albania is this: 

Albania, bless you, for making this map of Albania, Kosovo and Montenegro, and giving me the biggest laugh ever. Bless whoever in the graphic studio decided to not included the serbian, macedonian and greek borders around them. And bless my computer's 'prt sc' button. 

Lithuania: 'Something' - Andrius Pojavis

For consistency he should avoid the usual anglicising of his name for the international audience, and just rename himself 'Someone.' The song is actually not too bad, indie pop not dissimiliar to The Killers, but it has one of the worst recent cliches of Eurovision entries: the SUPERFLUOUS DANCERS. What the fuck are they doing back there? Why is she doing weight training exercises? Wouldn't just some guitarists and drummers be better? He's got a quirky enough look by himself, let's not overdo it. 

Ukraine: 'Gravity'  - Zlata Ognevich

Since Ukraine's one of those irritating guaranteed qualifiers, does anyone care. This songs a bit pointless and forgettable for them, full of insufferable cliches and some questionable english, but they're qualifiers for sure, so, whatever, I don't care. Bring back the hamster wheels and centurions. 

The Ukraine will definitely qualify. Albania and Belgium are forgettable. Lithuania may qualify, though I think it should lose the quirkiness and just go as an indie song, and Switzerland, well, I'm not so sure. This could well get into the final. I mean, it's not a winner, and it'll probably come last, but it might well scrape into the final. I mean, it's not like San Marino are gonna threaten their chances.... unless....

*sees a faint sign on the horizon of an old lady with a skateboard*

.... Uh oh...

It's rehearsals time! YAY!!!

So.... this afternoon/morning/night (depending where you are) rehearsals for Eurovision kicked off.



Now, obviously these are just the first rehearsals so you can't really tell much about the end product, but you can tell a few things... so pretty much regard this post as filled with BIG SPOILERS!!!!


Montenegro:
Disappointingly straight-looking, but there's potential for something ridiculous to come.... I hope. That EuroNeuro banner definitely leaves the potential for hijinks. Is never going to qualify, so yeah... let's move on*

Iceland:
These two are so pro. This song is so cool (in every sense, they're from Iceland!)

Latvia:
Still boring

Greece:
I'm thinking this song is going to flop out like Armenia last year. Eleftheria's only move seems to be to shake her hair around a bit. God, does that look stupid.

Albania:
I'm rooting for this one. Come on, people, this is just the first rehearsal, that woman has pipes!

Romania:
Looks more promising than before, a bit fun.

Switzerland:
It seems like this song has been around forever now. This one was first previewed like last September or so. So if it's not made an impression yet, it never will.

Belgium:
Will never like this song. Annoyingly false. Annoyingly bland, and provides a nice toilet break.

Finland
Still under-rated. Still a bit sappy. Green is a good colour for red-heads.

Belgium: Would You?

A description of Belgium's entry:

Iris doubts the sincerity of her lover. She feels that her relationship has reached a certain, crucial point and is wondering what her boyfriend would do if she left him. Would he miss her, like any other boy would? Or not? 

What? Iris is 17 years old? Who gives a toss if he would miss her or not? You're 17! You couldn't have even had sex for more than a year, legally! Whose relationship are you talking about? 

Seriously, there is a complete disconnect between the lyrics of this song, and the performer. A young girl asking 'What would you do if my house was empty?/ You took my love for granted/ would you really miss me?' What house? You're still in school! How has he taken your love for granted? How can you have even had a lengthy relationship? Why can't you get your dad to go round to his house and give him a slap? 

Seriously, you're not even out of high school! 

 I'm totally passing on this song. Annoyingly false ballad.