Nordic Round Up - minus Sweden.

Iceland didn't pick Magni, BOOO

Norway didn't pick Alexander Rybak's baby sister, or whatever she was. HOORAH! He looked like this about the matter

Norway's entry, some ode to feeders, inspires no real opinion in me. It just seems odd and flat. But it's not Rybak, so ahahahahahahhahahahahahaha!

And Finland picked this:

Where to even start with this one?

Ok, firstly, if you want to marry him that badly, why can't you propose. This is the 21st century?

Secondly, "I'm your slave and you're my master." Are you fucking serious?

Thirdly: Did you grab that dress from a bin?

Fourthly: Did you grab this song from a bin?

Fifthly: This song's rhyme-scheme is so bad, and that's in a year that already rhymed 'paris' with 'where is' 

Sixthly: Is 'sixthly' a word?

Seventhly: If he takes a shot at you, I hope it's through a long-range rifle.

Eighthly: Why do you have to 'walk  a walk of shame?' What kind of marriage are you in?

Ninthly: If you can get past the line in the second verse about her giving him cute babies, you're a stronger person than me.

Tenthly: This is not a way to get a guy to propose.

Eurovision: 1912

The other day I had a conversation about how many countries are in the Eurovision, and how it'd be a lot less if it were 1912:

Following last years victory by Mr. Eldar and Mrs Nigar, this years contest will be held in the capital of the Russian Empire, St Petersburg. They will be represented by the young singer Mr Donald Montell. 

Making it's debut in Eurovision this year is the Kingdom of Serbia, represented by Zeljko Joksimovic, singing a ballad about peace in Europe in these troubled times.

Great Britain and Ireland will be represented by brothers John and Edward Grimes, from Dublin, who have been warned not to use the event as a platform to voice Ireland's campaign for independence. Many are unsure if they have the popularity to ensure victory.

The Ottoman Empire has withdrawn from the competition this year, owing to trouble in the region, Bulgaria and Romania have opted not to compete.


Greece has just about managed to compete after economic troubles and political tensions in the region.


Sweden will be represented by Swedish-Finnish singer Miss Pernilla Karlsson with her ballad Nar Jag Blundar, while Denmark will be represented by Icelanders Greta and Jonsi, who have been warned not to use the event as a platform to voice Iceland's campaign for independence. 


San Marino's Miss Monetta is singing a song about typewriters. 




Yep, I really need to get out more.

It's rehearsals time! YAY!!!

So.... this afternoon/morning/night (depending where you are) rehearsals for Eurovision kicked off.



Now, obviously these are just the first rehearsals so you can't really tell much about the end product, but you can tell a few things... so pretty much regard this post as filled with BIG SPOILERS!!!!


Montenegro:
Disappointingly straight-looking, but there's potential for something ridiculous to come.... I hope. That EuroNeuro banner definitely leaves the potential for hijinks. Is never going to qualify, so yeah... let's move on*

Iceland:
These two are so pro. This song is so cool (in every sense, they're from Iceland!)

Latvia:
Still boring

Greece:
I'm thinking this song is going to flop out like Armenia last year. Eleftheria's only move seems to be to shake her hair around a bit. God, does that look stupid.

Albania:
I'm rooting for this one. Come on, people, this is just the first rehearsal, that woman has pipes!

Romania:
Looks more promising than before, a bit fun.

Switzerland:
It seems like this song has been around forever now. This one was first previewed like last September or so. So if it's not made an impression yet, it never will.

Belgium:
Will never like this song. Annoyingly false. Annoyingly bland, and provides a nice toilet break.

Finland
Still under-rated. Still a bit sappy. Green is a good colour for red-heads.

The big eurovision catch up post

I'll sum these all up briefly,

Finland, Austria, Turkey, Nettherlands, Slovenia

Finland: Fecking unneccesary dancers AGAIN! Stop it!  But she's singing in swedish. Points to her!

Austria: Well, someone will vote for a chorus that sounds like it's saying 'Fuck him in the popo' by a band named Trackshittaz. Moving along now...

Turkey: Another country whose fare is slipping.

Netherlands: Possible finalist, for the first time in yonks. But why the headdress?

Slovenia: The future theme of a medieval bloody epic battle. That is a compliment.