Eurovision competitors so far

Well, I've taken so long to getting around to the current crop of confirmed eurovision entries because, well, they're all kinda unremarkable. I just don't have much to say about it. 

Let's round it up

Switzerland: 'You and Me' - whatever Heilsarmee are now called.

Since I always thought the dorkiest and cringiest part of this song was the Salvation Army aspect, the fact that the EBU have prevented that makes this song a bit better. I mean, it's still twee and kinda preachy, but it's not a man dressed as a monkey or an 88 year old's attempt to be cool. Plus, with Bosnia and Turkey, both generally certain qualifiers, out of the picture, it's possible this song might pick up some votes in a good spot. How do the Swiss get on with Sweden? 

Belgium: 'Love Kills', Roberto Bellarosa.

This guy really can't sing. Which is a shame, there seems like an ok song underneath his flat scratchy voice. An OK song, though, probably not a qualifier. Oh, Belgium. 

Albania: 'Identitet', Adrian Lulgjuraj & Bledar Sejko

I've nothing to say about this song. I've forgotten this song literally while writing this comment. All I will ever now think of with Albania is this: 

Albania, bless you, for making this map of Albania, Kosovo and Montenegro, and giving me the biggest laugh ever. Bless whoever in the graphic studio decided to not included the serbian, macedonian and greek borders around them. And bless my computer's 'prt sc' button. 

Lithuania: 'Something' - Andrius Pojavis

For consistency he should avoid the usual anglicising of his name for the international audience, and just rename himself 'Someone.' The song is actually not too bad, indie pop not dissimiliar to The Killers, but it has one of the worst recent cliches of Eurovision entries: the SUPERFLUOUS DANCERS. What the fuck are they doing back there? Why is she doing weight training exercises? Wouldn't just some guitarists and drummers be better? He's got a quirky enough look by himself, let's not overdo it. 

Ukraine: 'Gravity'  - Zlata Ognevich

Since Ukraine's one of those irritating guaranteed qualifiers, does anyone care. This songs a bit pointless and forgettable for them, full of insufferable cliches and some questionable english, but they're qualifiers for sure, so, whatever, I don't care. Bring back the hamster wheels and centurions. 

The Ukraine will definitely qualify. Albania and Belgium are forgettable. Lithuania may qualify, though I think it should lose the quirkiness and just go as an indie song, and Switzerland, well, I'm not so sure. This could well get into the final. I mean, it's not a winner, and it'll probably come last, but it might well scrape into the final. I mean, it's not like San Marino are gonna threaten their chances.... unless....

*sees a faint sign on the horizon of an old lady with a skateboard*

.... Uh oh...

Alyona Lanskaya will not be defeated again

Belarus's national final was tonight, but it's hard to get excited about their songs because the past few years have been such a mess. Last year (in Eurovision years, not real-life ones) Alyona's song was overruled by the president for voting discrepancies, in 2011 the fabulous 'Born in Belarussia' was disqualified for being too old, in 2010 3+2 (the worst band name) changed songs for.... some reason that no one remembers or cares about. Belarus are a country that has an awful lot of drama picking its songs for a country that has only qualified for the final twice since 2004.


So, this is what Belarus have picked. In December. For a contest in May.

Since I wasn't paying attention to who the contestants were, I didn't know that this was last years disqualified winner. She has an uphill struggle with this song, if it stays, since it seems like people are suspicious about her spectacular scoring in the final (3rd song performed out of 10??? A unanimous vote? O RLY???) But you know, I like this song, it's catchy, not completely irritating as dance tracks can often be. It reminds me a bit of Albania's entry in 2009.

I don't think it's a winner, and I imagine the Swedes will put it in one of the death slots, but its decent enough.

 Democracy doesn't always work with music. Most people have appalling taste.