*insert Bonnie Tyler joke*

So, after weeks of rumour, or weeks of people telling everyone who it was and being told not to repeat it, the BBC have decided to announce....

Bonnie Tyler.

Bonnie Tyler, I assumed, being born in the mid-80s after her career had faded a bit, was a one-hit wonder of probably the definitive cheesey 80s power ballad, Total Eclipse of the Heart. It's not a song that I think anyone can take seriously, but undoubtedly, you've heard of it. (at least watch the literal video version!)

But, apparently she's been power-ballading all over Europe as a fairly gracefully-surgeried 61 year old. (If you squint, she's like Cascada in clothes.) So she has a new song.

I never thought Engelbert Humperdinck's song was that bad last year, and I blame its second-to-last spot on its position in the running order (Since Tooji came last, I wouldn't blame it on his age.) Tyler's song is in that guitar-pop ballad genre of pleasantness that I don't really like, like Denmarks past few entries. I don't like that, it's far too sappy, but lots of other people do.

I suspect the build-up did not help this one. I mean, they could have just announced it ages ago, instead of keeping it as some big secret. They were never going to get any love for their entrant though, whoever they chose. As far the miserable media is concerned, Eurovision is a bunch of gay foreigners. And no one is EVER going to be good enough. Because no one is ever going to be Bucksfizz.

The BBC seems to think the rest of the competition was frozen in time with that song. Everyone hates Bucksfizz. They were terrible, even in the 80s. It was a dated song even then. Bonnie Tyler's biggest hits of the 80s are more contemporary than Bucksfizz. And they weren't even the last time the UK won. Apart from a blip in the 90s when they were a bit good, and they won, the BBC have just been consistently acting like it's still 1981. And IT ISN'T.

Careers don't fade because you stopped being cool and popular, and Humperdinck and Tyler are both credible singers with continuing success beyond the British Isles (yep, that does happen!), but they are not really very modern, which is the key problem. The UK needs to get something modern.