LOIS
Apparently she felt guilty about Daniel during her night of 'passionate lovemaking.' So, even though 'he was a good-looking guy, with a great personality, Lois knew she wouldn't see him again.' Yes, her true love is the emotionally troubled university drop-out who drinks and smokes spliffs so much he can't actually get an erection.
BUT WAIT! Daniel's back, and he's hard and horny! And Lois has some morning sex with Daniel to counterpoint her one-night stand with Matt. Lucky Lois.
Matt goes to Lois's work to give her a bracelet she left back. She says she's not interested in him because she only went out with him cos she'd fallen out with her boyfriend the previous day, and now they were back together again. Matt says she never mentioned she had a boyfriend, and now Daniel has come into the shop, and overhears her talking about having sex with Matt. She gets dumped by Daniel for having sex with someone else while being broken up because there are double standards here for Lois's behaviour. Matt just slinks off feeling offended that he was a one night stand in this melodrama, and entire novel. He came, in every sense, and went in 3 pages.
Lois gets drunk because being a woman everything is her fault and Daniel has no responsibility for being a drama queen!
BUT THEN! Daniel leaves a suicide note for Lois, who races up Constitution Hill to stop him from killing himself. Like the drama queen he is, he hadn't actually done it before Lois got there even though at least 4-5 hours have passed since he left that note. What if she hadn't read it? What if she hadn't interepreted it as a suicide note? What if she hadn't actually twigged that it was Constitution Hill he'd gone to? What if a bear had broken into her room and taken nothing but a pair of knickers and that note? How long would he have waited there?
Anyway, she gets there, calls out his name, and he jumps off the hill, and dies.
All this takes 6 of the 19 pages left. So we're down to 13 pages Onto Cerys...
Cerys and Marc squabble on the seafront. He tries to drown her because her pregnancy might ruin his life, his career, everything and MURDER would obviously not.
This is 3 pages. Now we're down to 10. The plots been going nowhere for 4 chapters, and now, there's suicide and murder. Talk about pacing problems!
Hywel has his 4 last pages. He get back with Meleri. Whatever. There are 6 pages left
Back to Lois. She's been to Daniel's funeral and now she's packing up to go back home to her parents. She's thinking maybe she'll go to Cardiff to do a degree in Psychology. Her A Levels are Welsh, Drama and History, incidentally. She had no interest in Law, because it was hard. Entry requirements for Psychology in Cardiff suggest they'd have a preference for a student with one or more of Mathematics, Biology, Physics, Chemistry and Human Biology. And although I myself dropped out of Aber and subsequently went to Cardiff, it wasn't to do a completely different subject which I had no A Levels in or any demonstrable interest in. Suicidal boyfriends aren't a selling point on a personal statement.
Now we have 4 pages left. Back to Cerys.
Cerys is slutshamed by the Fat Slags who have put out their latest edition of their student hall specific newpaper (even though this hall only ever seemed to have 6 people in it!) with the headline 'Pregnant First Year Slapper Blames Innocent Lecturer For Pregnancy.' Even though that thing surely could barely count as student media, I hope the Fat Slags are aware that student newspapers do have to follow a code of conduct, and I hope they enjoy being suspended for printing a slanderous statement about a fellow student. Where is the Women's Officer. 'Innocent Lecturer' - yep there are no consequences for Marc. Apparently the VC of Aber is so in with the police that Cerys couldn't press charges against Marc. That's some bullshit right there! Some female sexuality punishing devoid of reality bullshit!
After what seems like an eternity of going back and forth, Cerys has had an abortion after all. And now she's off to London, to find a rich man, but she knows she'll never make the same mistakes again. Even though her plan is find a rich man, the same one she started university with.
At the end of this novel about the wild adventures of university first years, which, as in real life, are really boring and repetitive after a while, no one is left in university.
What a [edit]
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapters 10 and 11
Chapter 12
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