Malta National Final

Oh, my god! This has to be the most painful national final to sit through. overly long, with a full TWENTY minutes before a song seemed to be sung, cheesy production, ridiculous song titles, (someone elsewhere said they were like they'd picked names from a hat -- if you're reading this, lets marry), and too many adverts, and a presenter who was looking at his ipad either for his phony cue or there was some very engrossing porn on there.

Anyway, an apology to Glen Vella, Malta's 2011 representative. When I first heard last years Maltese entry found it irritatingly cheesy, camp and boybandy, and GAY! -- like he was accomodating for bravado, which is an irritating thing with eurovision, which is something that requires a complex discussion but i'll sum up here by saying that with the exceptions of the village people, there's not really such a thing as a 'gay song' or a 'gay audience.' When I first heard Glen Vella's Eurovision entry One Life all i heard was "vote for me gay audience, i'm being disco and fabulous, and inclusive, and all that. You're gay so you like disco and feather boas and saying faaaaabulous. So I'm perfect' And it was irritating. But, once i forgot all that, I remembered that it was kind of a cool disco tune. It's still quite pandering to a certain cliche audience, but, I dunno. I feel like, for the cliche, it's a better end of cliche. So Glen Vella, I would like to add you to my list of Semi-Final losers who should have been there. You never would have won, but i like you more than that bullshit from Romania or Denmark.

Moving on to this year...  Kurt Calleja

I fear for Eurovision this year. Is it just me or does this one sound like Cyprus's entry? A tiny Mediterranean island should not enter a song that resembles another tiny Mediterranean island's entry, but be lamer.


First lyric of the song:

#Hey
Look at me
Can't you see
That I'm into you#

Oh fuck off with this shit. Just fuck off. No, I've had it enough with this club wank, this pseudo-misogyny with  guys singing songs about getting girls, like they're a pint of milk and they pick it up and woo, they has the milk (maybe this is not the appropriate metaphor). Where's the love, the romance? No, now you get the impression that if you turn down the likes of Eric Saade, Alex Sparrow and Kurt here you're gonna be harassed forever, until they're popular and that they'll be coming to get you and this will be the night they -- not you, oh non-descript object of their magazine derived affections -- will be a star. They're self involved, vain and tedious.

That is all that I have to say. Goodnight. lol x roflcopter