2012: The best top ten for languages

In 2012, despite Sweden's English language-win the year''s top ten was one of the best in recent years for foreign language entries, with 5/12 of the songs being in their own language, counting Russia's entry as a Russian language entry ("Party for Everybody, Dance" is not the most stunning use of English.)

Serbia have continued to be the most successful country in their own language, while Albania scored their best result. Estonia also seem to be scoring better with their own language than English.

Ott Lepland. Nothing to look at here...

Does this mean anything though? Not really? After all, 2007's Serbian win is still an oddity in the current trend. But we can dream and hope ESCToday don't steal this observation for an article topic on their site in a couple of months. 

Semi Final 2

Watching it on the BBC, the worst part of the show would have to again be the commentary. Sara Cox's 90s laddette humour is more pathetic everytime you see it. Their humour seemed to be limited to 'foreign countries are funny!', as exemplified by the comment 'Baku? It sounds like the name of an IKEA table lamp' and Cox's idiotic attempts at trying to say good luck in Icelandic. Scott Mills began a weird and somewhat bigoted twitter speculation on whether contestants were 'gay and european.' (why would their being 'european' be questioned? This is a european contest.  The United Kingdom is in Europe too)as if their sexuality and nationality needed to be very clearly established.

Terrible BBC commentary aside, there's not much to really comment on in last night's semi. Everyone who got through was pretty much who was expected to get through, with the exception possibly of Malta.
Even the post-show draw didn't throw any curveballs, with favourites Sweden and Serbia occupying the 'winners corner' of the last half. The most interesting thing about it is the news that there was a tie for the tenth position in  last nights semi. 

So, with the semi finals being profoundly unshocking, the final may well go the same way. One of the disadvantages of the tightly-placed semis and final is that there's no room for changes, so we've already seen everything. Plus, the internet coverage of rehearsals provides massive spoilers for everything (even costumes aren't secret.)

It's almost a deterrent.

Semi 1: first thoughts

So.... for a second there, it seemed like there might be a twist and Ireland wouldn't make it through. There did seem something amusing about Sad Jedward. But after some pointless padding by Azerbaijan, and a scan around a lot of very broken-looking performers in the green room, Jedward made the 10 was made up of the ten mostly already expected to get through, who were:

Russia
Moldova
Romania
Greece
Cyprus
Ireland
Hungary
Iceland
Albania
Denmark.


I thought Greece would flop out, but they managed to stick it out. The power of flicky hair and tiny skirts. Actually, her and Cyprus were definitely battling for wardrobe malfunctions (Ivi's dress had some very awkward cleavage. I hope them and Romania all draw together in the final.

Montenegro, Latvia, San Marino, Austria: I don't think anyone expected them to qualify. I think Israel should have had Hungary's place, a song that I can never remember no matter how many times I hear it.

Russia though? SERIOUSLY? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ALL OF YOU????? THAT SONG IS TERRIBLE! And Moldova? I am very concerned about everyone's taste.

Everyone seems to hate Albania. Personally, I like it. I'm glad to see the back of Belgium (that opening shot where her dress was see-through seemed soooo wrong for a 17 year old.)

So, I think we can expect the second semi-final to go as predictably as this one. Yawn. If I wasn't a big fan, I'd just skip past it.

Worst part of the show? None of the songs but the BBC commentary. Urgh, my god, not only are they utterly dull but those boring half-audible interval interviews were clearly at the expense of something FAR MORE INTERESTING ON THE STAGE!!!!

Second worst part of the show? Eldar, my god, he has no charisma, and has anyone struggled so much to read a cue card? I know English probably isn't his first language but that was so stiff. Well, when you could make it out over Scott Mills and Sara Cox jabbering on.

Decorations up!

Azerbaijan flag, sort of.

Right, it's only two days away so I suppose I should finally get around to giving my opinion on who i think should win, lose etc etc. 

Semi Final One is definitely the fun semi, and since it's inevitable, since it isn't seemingly allowed to be possible that Russia won't qualify, at least something silly will make it to the final. Greece, on the other hand, I think are not so certain a 'certain qualifier', and I think may well go home on Wednesday (and the country probably can't afford hotels till sunday anyway). 

Albania may well scrape through to the final, being all dramatic and serious. But realistically, there's a lot of average and ridiculous stuff in this country, that I think only Denmark, Russia and Ireland are currently certainties. I'm unsure about Iceland because being second kinda sucks. San Marino may not be the biggest loser in this semi, it might even do well (think of the money in making it a success) I still think Latvia has that honour for not being silly enough, and mostly just insipid. 

Semi Final Two then? I'm not sure why so many people think the Ukraine is all that great. But then, I have odd taste. Even though it's last, I'm not convinced that Lithuania will qualify. I don't think anyone genuinely will give Georgia enough to qualify, and honestly, all this 'they're a certain qualifier' stuff does need shaking up. Slovakia might well scrape through with the rock vote, which is increasingly present. I remain forever mixed up with Croatia and Macedonia, and i think it will be the same for the rest of Europe. Serbia and the Scandis are guaranteed (snore), and the rest will likely be the usual suspects. 

The big 6: Italy has the odds now to do the best of the big five. Azerbaijan has never made much of an impression on me, nor has Spain. Germany is a bit sappy, but ok in its way. France... can anyone really tell with France. They always seem to be kinda in a world of their own, doing their own French thing. 

Since this is a year like 2009 with a big favourite leading into it, I'm a bit underwhelmed by it, and actually would like some big shocks and surprises. Since the semi finals came along, the finals have been a bit dull, with the same performances again. It would shake things up massively, considering the superstitions, if Sweden were to end up in spot 2 in the final, so I'm crossing my fingers for that. The hot favourite never seems to end up in that spot! 

It's rehearsals time! YAY!!!

So.... this afternoon/morning/night (depending where you are) rehearsals for Eurovision kicked off.



Now, obviously these are just the first rehearsals so you can't really tell much about the end product, but you can tell a few things... so pretty much regard this post as filled with BIG SPOILERS!!!!


Montenegro:
Disappointingly straight-looking, but there's potential for something ridiculous to come.... I hope. That EuroNeuro banner definitely leaves the potential for hijinks. Is never going to qualify, so yeah... let's move on*

Iceland:
These two are so pro. This song is so cool (in every sense, they're from Iceland!)

Latvia:
Still boring

Greece:
I'm thinking this song is going to flop out like Armenia last year. Eleftheria's only move seems to be to shake her hair around a bit. God, does that look stupid.

Albania:
I'm rooting for this one. Come on, people, this is just the first rehearsal, that woman has pipes!

Romania:
Looks more promising than before, a bit fun.

Switzerland:
It seems like this song has been around forever now. This one was first previewed like last September or so. So if it's not made an impression yet, it never will.

Belgium:
Will never like this song. Annoyingly false. Annoyingly bland, and provides a nice toilet break.

Finland
Still under-rated. Still a bit sappy. Green is a good colour for red-heads.

The Second Semi Final: Who's gonna be a finalist?

Obvious finalists:

Bloody Sweden: Shut the hell up about this song now! I am damn sick of this one already. All the 'oh, it's Sweden 2013' hype. I sense this one will end up being the closing song on the show.
Norway:  Saade2 can seriously fuck off too, but he's going to the final, I think that's for certain.
Ukraine: This is one of those countries that has a secure block to give it a final place, though my preference would be for it to stay in the semi.
Serbia: A disappointment, but I think he's a certainty too.
Bosnia and Herzegovina: Without the remaining yugoslav nations having anything special, this one is also likely to take the rest of the balkan vote that Serbia doesn't get. Also yet to have missed a final.

Obvious losers:
Georgia: This will probably come last.
Macedonia: I've already forgotten it!
Croatia: See above
Estonia: See above above
Slovakia: See three lines up.

Dark Horses:
Netherlands: I actually think this one is cute and is Netherlands's best song for a few years. But they do have a poor track record, so...
Belarus: They're also hit and miss, but there's actually not much competition behind the obvious choices.
Bulgaria: Depends where it falls in the first half.

The rest seem like scoreboard filler which will come and go without much interest at all.

Language score, out of 17 non-English speaking countries: 7

Malta National Final

Oh, my god! This has to be the most painful national final to sit through. overly long, with a full TWENTY minutes before a song seemed to be sung, cheesy production, ridiculous song titles, (someone elsewhere said they were like they'd picked names from a hat -- if you're reading this, lets marry), and too many adverts, and a presenter who was looking at his ipad either for his phony cue or there was some very engrossing porn on there.

Anyway, an apology to Glen Vella, Malta's 2011 representative. When I first heard last years Maltese entry found it irritatingly cheesy, camp and boybandy, and GAY! -- like he was accomodating for bravado, which is an irritating thing with eurovision, which is something that requires a complex discussion but i'll sum up here by saying that with the exceptions of the village people, there's not really such a thing as a 'gay song' or a 'gay audience.' When I first heard Glen Vella's Eurovision entry One Life all i heard was "vote for me gay audience, i'm being disco and fabulous, and inclusive, and all that. You're gay so you like disco and feather boas and saying faaaaabulous. So I'm perfect' And it was irritating. But, once i forgot all that, I remembered that it was kind of a cool disco tune. It's still quite pandering to a certain cliche audience, but, I dunno. I feel like, for the cliche, it's a better end of cliche. So Glen Vella, I would like to add you to my list of Semi-Final losers who should have been there. You never would have won, but i like you more than that bullshit from Romania or Denmark.

Moving on to this year...  Kurt Calleja

I fear for Eurovision this year. Is it just me or does this one sound like Cyprus's entry? A tiny Mediterranean island should not enter a song that resembles another tiny Mediterranean island's entry, but be lamer.


First lyric of the song:

#Hey
Look at me
Can't you see
That I'm into you#

Oh fuck off with this shit. Just fuck off. No, I've had it enough with this club wank, this pseudo-misogyny with  guys singing songs about getting girls, like they're a pint of milk and they pick it up and woo, they has the milk (maybe this is not the appropriate metaphor). Where's the love, the romance? No, now you get the impression that if you turn down the likes of Eric Saade, Alex Sparrow and Kurt here you're gonna be harassed forever, until they're popular and that they'll be coming to get you and this will be the night they -- not you, oh non-descript object of their magazine derived affections -- will be a star. They're self involved, vain and tedious.

That is all that I have to say. Goodnight. lol x roflcopter

More languages please!

I may be alone in saying this, and I realise the irony considering the language this is in, but I'd really like to see less English in the Eurovision this year. Here is a picture of last years linguistic spread in the ESC:

It's very yellow, isn't it. Doesn't everyone else want to see more red?

Watching Albania and Iceland's national finals, you hear songs that will later, most likely, be changed into English. But WHY!!!!!!!! We fans already like the songs, you don't have to change it for us. It's so disappointing. Denmark's final suggested very much that they think the way to a win is an English language song, with only one Danish finalist. Is it really though? Serbia managed it, surely it can happen again?

More languages please!

ETA: Yeah, Turkey's border is in the wrong place, because I coloured the map wrong, and that bit off Sicily should be in red. Let's just assume that's San Marino, for the sake of this conversation.