Iris doubts the sincerity of her lover. She feels that her relationship has reached a certain, crucial point and is wondering what her boyfriend would do if she left him. Would he miss her, like any other boy would? Or not?
What? Iris is 17 years old? Who gives a toss if he would miss her or not? You're 17! You couldn't have even had sex for more than a year, legally! Whose relationship are you talking about?
Seriously, there is a complete disconnect between the lyrics of this song, and the performer. A young girl asking 'What would you do if my house was empty?/ You took my love for granted/ would you really miss me?' What house? You're still in school! How has he taken your love for granted? How can you have even had a lengthy relationship? Why can't you get your dad to go round to his house and give him a slap?
Seriously, you're not even out of high school!
I'm totally passing on this song. Annoyingly false ballad.
Oh Valentina.... Maybe your facebook is all cybersex and chatting and socialising but most people just have walls of obnoxious arguments with relatives they don't like and endless unfunny photoshop pictures of cats.
Oh, and people complaining about fucking TIMELINE! Cos it's really shit!
Anyway, this is such a typical boring, slightly greek but mostly rubbish sexy girl jumping over dancers thing.
Anyway, Greece win the award for Shittest and cheapest looking national final! It's in a shopping centre. Specifically the River West Mall in Greece. I'm not sure why Greece has a mall full of English-language names. The hosts are on the escalator, there's a Next store in the background.
The most amazing thing about this song is the stage they're standing on. I said it on twitter several times, but THAT is not a stage. That is several tables from IKEA pushed together. I'm amazed when they stand in one corner the whole thing doesn't tip over.
I hope this stays in the semi final, it's just too far too bland to leave an impression, good or bad. Aside from her name. It's interesting how many dull songs are from 'guaranteed' finalists. I'm so hoping this year is going to have a very different mix of finalists to usual.
As I'm a fan of national language entries, this one already pleases me by being partly non-English.
They've got a hipster with bagpipes, for some reason.
The singer gives me vibes of Sinead Mulvey -- like she doesn't match the band she's with.
Still, I'm kinda into this one, although it seems like it'll get on my nerves quickly. So....
I anticipate this one will have silly costumes for the main band, and she'll be wearing something short and skimpy that'll be all Hey Hey, I've a Vajayjay!
I also think this might go the way of Armenia in 2011.
As a viewer, it's very tedious when you sit through 8 songs and clearly only two are contenders for the prize. Or less, as with Ireland's final.
So after a month of at times tedious campaigning for Loreen's victory, Loreen is victorious.
This one divides me. On the one hand I like the dance anthem style. On the other hand, I find it too much like a bazillion other songs I've heard in the past 15 years since this style became mainstream. Anything that was used in a Gossip Girl trailer is definitely stylistically past its prime (when will they cancel that show?)
On the one hand, I like the minimal staging of the song. No ridiculous glass boxes. On the other hand, I find it a little pretentious. AND HER HAIR BLOODY IRRITATES ME!
This is already a favourite, and I find early hype for songs incredibly grating. It makes me automatically dislike it. Quite simply, underdogs and dark horses are more interesting.
I mean, this is so obviously going to do well, I just struggle to get behind it. I'm getting sick of it already.
Belarus, again, presumably for keeps this time, unless Alyona Lanskaya starts a revolution and overthrows the president.
Actually, this is a better song than the first song chosen. So, er.... democracy blows? Never let the people choose, they make bad choices. See, this song fucks with your political morality!
Israel. Now, they can't be bothered with those damn voting processes at all. No overlong national finals, no ridiculous voting processes. Just screw-you-people-we-don't-care-what-you-want internal selections.
And I like this. It's quirky, indie, cheery and cute. Israel are also screwing with your political morality in Eurovision. Let's move on quickly before someone mentions Palestine... quickly
Macedonia. More internal selections. Macedonia doesn't care. Who do you think they are? Greece? NO SERIOUSLY! Do you think they're GREECE?
Oh, it's another song where they start out as a piano ballad and then BOOM it's gone, and it changes into something else. They're bucksfizzing instruments a lot in Eurovision in this year's finals.Seriously, that is getting so old! I am now suspicion of all pianos in Eurovision performances, alongside two-piece outfits. This song was going fine until that happened.
Bulgaria: Oh, Bulgaria, you started out so well. What's happened? This one? It's called Love Unlimited which makes me think of 2 Unlimited, who are a Eurovision entry that never was. That similarity seems appropriate, since Bulgaria's entry is equally short on lyrics, and has opted to get around that by... singing it in lots of different languages. I cannot decide if I find that bad, bad in a good way, or awesome. At the moment, I'm thinking just bad, and LAZY! Anyone can google translate i love you into different languages! Seriously, write some lyrics!
And this was the result of a public vote. Oh dear, democracy is not having a good show here.
I got soooooo confused last night watching Lithuania and Estonia's national finals. Several times on Twitter I definitely tagged the wrong country. But, honestly, their fare has been slipping a bit lately and if Latvia had been the same night too, I'd have totally not remembered which was which. (except that Latvia is abominable.)
So, Lithuania. Love is Blind by Donny Montell. Love would have to be blind with his eyebrows!
:(
The song? It starts as a typical ballad. He's onstage blindfolded. Get it, cos LOVE IS BLIND! SO HE'S BLIND(folded). Did you get it? Did you get it? It's so subtle.
Or maybe my comments about his eyebrows really did hurt his feelings?
No, I guess not, because 1 and a half minutes in it goes all disco-dance. AND THE BLINDDFOLD IS BUCKSFIZZED! (yeah, it's a verb now!) Er... You know the song has to end at three minutes? At this point, it seems like two half-songs jammed together. And neither make much of an impression.
BUT HIS EYEBROWS DO!
Onto Estonia then. Ott Lepland with Kuula.
Not much to say here. It's a piano ballad, like hundreds we've heard before. But it is in Estonian, so I'm 12-pointing this one (yeah, that's also a verb now!) If it gets changed into English before the contest, it can fuck right off.
I'm thinking Georgia doesn't really want to go to the final this year. I cannot think of any other reason for this.
Wikipedia says that he was born in a distant 1980, the year the Irish Johnny Logan won.
Esctoday has the following description of the joker:
Anri has been singing since the age of 4 and has participated in many contests and concerts both in Georgia and abroad. He is also a composer and has worked as a screenwriter of videoclips. Anri is the producer of many newcomer singers. Anri plans to shoot a musical in upcoming months. He is producer, screenwriter and director of this film and is currently working on his fifth studio album.
Oh, this has one of those titles that's just ASKING for trouble. Beautiful Song? More like Ugly Song, More like Stupid Song, More like Shit Song, More like Embarrasing Song. You see?
The opening lines are cringeingly bad.
#I was born in a distant 1980
The year the Irish Johnny Logan won#
Congratulations, you're 32.
#Now he's old, you know, still kind of famous#
In a way, I suspect, that you never will be.
I've already said that comedy entries have passed their peak. This is a semi-comedy entry, I suppose. It's a song about wanting to be a Eurovision winner, and being famous from it. Kudos for a lack of Abba references, but Mick Jagger references are sooooooo last year!
Songs actually about winning the Eurovision never do well. Comedy entries are notable for being really over-the-top and ridiculous. This one, perhaps sensing the shifting tide, is a bit modestly silly. It starts with her as some sort of of naive country girl outfit and then !!!!!OBVIOUS COSTUME CHANGE ALERT!!!! changing into a long black skirt. It doesn't work. To me, the overall affect is, whatever! If you're singing a song about how you're going to win the Eurovision and you're going to be really famouse you need to do it in a really extravagant, brash and cocky manner. You need to be Silvia Night, Dustin, LT United. Anmary looks like someone who doesn't want to seem completely ridiculous. Look at her sexy-girl styling in the semi-final. It defeats the purpose, somewhat.
Oh, I'm losing heart with eurovision entries this year.
I missed the ukraine national (mmmm, pillows, pillows), because there was no controversy around it this like there has been every other.
This song does nothing for me. I'm hoping that Gaitana will oblige in wearing a ridiculous outfit in may, and maybe bring Svetlana Loboda's centurions with her.
I'm also hoping this may be the year Ukraine sit out the final, cos i'm sick of those countries that everyone just knows will go through. Ukraine, or Russia. Particularly since Russia were so cocky last year of their place in the final that they didn't hold their delegation party till AFTER their semi.
Time to shake things up again! This seems like a place to start.
Though it doesn't mean much, you're the most stable country in Europe right now. You hosted last year's eurovision. WHY DOESN'T YOUR LIVEFEED WORK PROPERLY!
My god, this would have been an agonising show to watch. Oh, how they talk, and talk, and talk, and talk, and talk, oh hey, songs!
The winner?
He has that charisma of X Factor type winners. That being, fuck all!
This is all just a bit too falsely heartfelt to me. Look, there's a plonking piano, that means he's sad. Look, there's a plaintive wailing, repetitive chorus. Oh, can't you feel the emotion!!!! This means it's probably a winner. This means i want to hit my head against a wall!
Still, I don't want to murder him. I mean, he doesn't send me into a homicidal rage, he doesn't look like a total dickface! I could permit his existence. I mean, 26 songs, there are always going to have to be songs for toilet breaks, drinks refills and such.
So far, I don't know what Eurovision entries I like. They all seem a bit blah to me. I must be ill. Or nothing amazing has turned up yet.
After what feels like a long agonising night of Eurovision I have no opinion on Hungary's entry.
Hungary is one of those countries that is never regarded much in the eurovision. When people whine about 'those bloody eastern europeans blockvoting all the time' hungary is not who they're thinking of. And when they think of the ridiculous comedy entries, its not Hungary they're thinking of. Or the really really really awful songs.
They are, in every sense, forgettably in the middle.
For a second I thought I would have to discuss BlarOpal. Oh thank god! I don't. They need never be mentioned again.
So, Iceland avoided comedy, or kids vote and went for the classy choice. I feel like the way it's going at the moment, they will be very lonely in Baku.
Oh well, they outclass the others, and manage to sing a song that doesn't make me want to shove a drill through my eardrums. That is a compliment!
Oh, my god! This has to be the most painful national final to sit through. overly long, with a full TWENTY minutes before a song seemed to be sung, cheesy production, ridiculous song titles, (someone elsewhere said they were like they'd picked names from a hat -- if you're reading this, lets marry), and too many adverts, and a presenter who was looking at his ipad either for his phony cue or there was some very engrossing porn on there.
Anyway, an apology to Glen Vella, Malta's 2011 representative. When I first heard last years Maltese entry found it irritatingly cheesy, camp and boybandy, and GAY! -- like he was accomodating for bravado, which is an irritating thing with eurovision, which is something that requires a complex discussion but i'll sum up here by saying that with the exceptions of the village people, there's not really such a thing as a 'gay song' or a 'gay audience.' When I first heard Glen Vella's Eurovision entry One Life all i heard was "vote for me gay audience, i'm being disco and fabulous, and inclusive, and all that. You're gay so you like disco and feather boas and saying faaaaabulous. So I'm perfect' And it was irritating. But, once i forgot all that, I remembered that it was kind of a cool disco tune. It's still quite pandering to a certain cliche audience, but, I dunno. I feel like, for the cliche, it's a better end of cliche. So Glen Vella, I would like to add you to my list of Semi-Final losers who should have been there. You never would have won, but i like you more than that bullshit from Romania or Denmark.
Moving on to this year... Kurt Calleja
I fear for Eurovision this year. Is it just me or does this one sound like Cyprus's entry? A tiny Mediterranean island should not enter a song that resembles another tiny Mediterranean island's entry, but be lamer.
First lyric of the song:
#Hey
Look at me
Can't you see
That I'm into you#
Oh fuck off with this shit. Just fuck off. No, I've had it enough with this club wank, this pseudo-misogyny with guys singing songs about getting girls, like they're a pint of milk and they pick it up and woo, they has the milk (maybe this is not the appropriate metaphor). Where's the love, the romance? No, now you get the impression that if you turn down the likes of Eric Saade, Alex Sparrow and Kurt here you're gonna be harassed forever, until they're popular and that they'll be coming to get you and this will be the night they -- not you, oh non-descript object of their magazine derived affections -- will be a star. They're self involved, vain and tedious.
That is all that I have to say. Goodnight. lol x roflcopter
There was a lot of off-key combinations in Norway's semi final tonight, with cutesy disney tweens singing electro pop, and a bunch of hipsters and fashionistas with questionable english. And bad fake piano playing. This national final season isn't halfway through, and i think i'm beginning to hate eurovision.
The culmination of the awkwardly juxtaposed image/sound was Ola Nordmann. AAARGH!!!!!!!! He's got a tin whistle and tattoos! It's Norwegian Irish-Trad Rock!
RUN FOR YOUR LIVES
Seriously, did we not ban those things with bodhrans after Dervish? Apparently we should have!
